Features x Benefits

When thinking about my projects and the ways I will implement them, I have to deal with obstacles that are mostly in my mind and related to my attitudes: doubt, confusion, laziness, frustration. I know my mind is in full capacity, producing all these amazing ideas, but it takes effort, patience, and most of all, persistence to put it place. This mid-June I’ve been passing through a lot: pregnancy, moving to another country, dealing with a new culture, learning a new language, selling an apartment, and having to find a new routine with my husband. The latter I have to say, is a constant challenge. Simply because being in a relationship, living with another person, no matter how much you love him or her, how right you are for each other, is a freaking challenge. We are different people, we have different personalities, we were raised differently. So, how to persist and invest on a successful relationship?

During my morning studies I bumped with a video about Copywriting that mentioned about Features x Benefits. We all heard how we must advertise Benefits instead of Features. We are selling feelings because this is what people buy. No one wants to be sold, they want to feel they are making a decision. And you know what, this is an absolute true for love and business. Why am I mentioning something personal here? Because if you don’t feel good with your personal life or you are way to stressed, this will impact your will power and drive to do other stuff. From my experience you would need to be in another level of balance to continue focused in your projects, in the same way, with the disrupt of stress on your personal side.

So, I kept thinking about Features x Benefits, over and over again yesterday. Why should I focus on the features of my relationship (he is doing this, or he hasn’t done that, or I don’t agree with this attitude, etc, etc), driving me mad, instead of thinking of the benefits of being together. About the life we are creating as a couple, the loving family we want to have, the funny moments we want to share…all the benefits we will have by being together, no matter what. I love a phrase from the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding, when the mother of the bride says: “The man is the head but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head anywhere she wants.”. I know about feelings, specially mine, and I will control them and not the way around. I will repeat something that Tony Robbins once said: “Nothing in Life has any meaning except for the meaning that I give it”. And I choose to have the life I desire, personally and professionally. Knowing yourself and how to control your mind and attitudes will help you to understand the benefits of every situation in your life, not the features.

Keep meditating, reading, learning and persisting.

 

Are you in Love?

I will start my post today with something I heard on my way to work this week: “Work harder on yourself than you do on your job” (by Jim Rohn). I kept thinking about that and the first thought that came to my mind were my relationships. I think that is a great analysis to make to understand where you want to go and who you want to be. It’s been a while that I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with my professional life, something with true purpose.

After hearing those words, I remembered about how I felt in my first serious relationship. I started dating my first boyfriend because he was nice. We enjoyed time together but for me it was always ok, never amazing. Moving forward to next relationship, I feel different, butterflies in the stomach, maybe it is real love. Years pass by and I realize I am putting so much effort on the relationship, not on me, expecting the other person to change, things to change, praying for circumstances to change, and nothing happens.

Of course not, because the only person I can change is myself which consequently would change the situation. I realize I don’t want to be there anymore. It is much easier to know what you don’t want and, in my opinion, this is already a good start. It is a sign for change, that you need to move on so you can grow.

I made a choice, to get out of a relationship that it was not good for me anymore. I opened myself for life and started experience more. Even not having discovered what I wanted back then, when you open yourself and are able to receive, boom, true love finally appears! You can feel it in every single cell of your body! I felt in my heart, body and soul that I found my true life partner!

When you start to experiment life you will be in situations that won’t be great for you and at that time you don’t realize. It takes time to understand your feelings, sometimes more time than you think, but if you are constantly analyzing yourself and being aware to what you feel you will figure it out at some point.

I’ve been working at the same company for 13 years now. It’s been a good journey overall, though like a roller coaster sometimes, but it also allowed me to discover so much and to meet so many good people that I can only be grateful. However, I am feeling the same way as in my first relationship. I realized that I am in a good place, that provides me care, security, but I am not in love. I like, I have good times, and keep telling myself: “You are in a good situation, why change? Maybe if you just try more, try harder, the “just like” will become passion.”

Why bringing these examples? You have to relate with people for everything you do life, everything. Your job, your social group, your relationship, your family…living is interacting with people. And I think you need to be in love in all the areas in your life. Be in you love for your life, for your job, for your family. We don’t have just one goal in life, we have several. And these goals might change with time because WE are constantly changing.

Don’t just like what you do, be passionate about what you do! Finding out what you really want won’t be easy but never stop trying to discover these. Once you start investing more on yourself than in what you are doing things will become clearer. I made a choice this year to initiate a project that’s been long on paper and I will be very excited to soon share with you. Find your purpose, if you haven’t found yet don’t stop looking. I will finish today with of Steve Job’s quote “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well worn path; and that will make all the difference.

Enjoy your weekend!